Goodbye for a while…

Hm so this is a text post which is not so fun to write, for me. Around this time last year (in 2019), I got my late cat euthanized due to severe chronic illness. If you’ve been following me for long enough, you will probably have seen my cat in some of my older pictures. Nowadays I tend not to use those pictures any more, because it reminds me too much of her. Around that period, there were many stressful things happening, because my work contract also expired, and I was planning to move to another city (but still inside the Netherlands). Anyway, right after I moved, the corona thing just started and everything became very difficult; this was difficult for everyone. 

When I got a new job, I moved again to another city (this time taking very few possessions with me, because the situation was still quite difficult and I moved to another country). When I had established myself in my new home in Belgium, and I was a little bit more comfortable, I thought about adopting a cat again. In my recent pictures, you may have seen her. Purely by coincidence, she looks quite similar to my late cat, but that wasn’t the reason why I adopted her. Trust me, her personality is very different from my late cat’s ^^. I would never dare to compare these two cats, otherwise my late cat will come back from the grave to scratch me or sit on my face in my sleep. Anyway, the cat which I recently adopted is quite thin and frail. I thought that she was just a little thin from the situation at the shelter, but she wasn’t really gaining any weight while living with me, and I was worried. I took her to the vet and they diagnosed the cat with hyperthyroidism, prescribing medication to be taken daily. Despite my experience with animals and especially with cats, I had mixed results administering this pill to her. I discussed it with the vet and with the shelter, and they suggested it may be best to rehome the cat. I tried a while longer to administer this medication to my cat, but I was just not successful and it wasn’t really in the interest of my cat to keep living with me. That’d be selfish. So I brought her back to the shelter, and they immediately found a new owner who was very experienced in giving pills. She is living in a nursing home now (xD sorry I’m not joking, a nursing home for people, one of the nurses gives the medication to the cat once per day).

Although I’m happy that the story has a happy ending for the cat, the story doesn’t have a happy ending for me, I think? I’m back where I started: sitting alone in my apartment talking to people over the internet. I’m having a lot of difficulties understanding what I really want in my life. Pets can be really good friends or housemates, and I really like sharing my life with a cat. It gives me happiness and it takes away a lot of my loneliness. But the presence of a cat is rather transient. And they’re not really sentient in the same way people are. What should I even do? Lately I’ve been asking myself more what I’m even doing and where I should be going. The decisions I make around my current age may have a big effect on the long term, right? I’m turning 30 years old in a few weeks. Should I try dating a person to fill the loneliness in my life? I don’t think you’re supposed to partner up with someone to fight your loneliness…, or should you? I would have no idea where to start. However, part of me also tells me not to take any drastic decisions. So I think I’m going to lay low for a while. I’m sorry, I’ll stop posting to this blog for a few days. I won’t go away, don’t worry ^^. Your friendly apex predator shark isn’t going anywhere. If you want to, maybe you could tell me some advice? 

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