No need to excuse for being away for a bit. You keep being you :)

It’s true, there’s no need for me to excuse myself. 

However, I think that I should be responsive to messages and Asks, and have an engagement with the people who choose to follow me and read my blog ^^. I think that the difference between a whole bunch of ABDL pictures, and a real person is when the person chooses to interact.

When I disappear for a while (or for good), then maybe my blog falls back to just being a whole bunch of (meaningless) ABDL pictures. I think that would be very sad.

Hello, very good job your work in Tumblr. I have some questions for you :How many languages do you talk?What is the name of your stuffy shark?What is your favorite pastry?In the little world, why did you wear again diaper at your age?Do you prefer diaper for girl or any diaper with baby print or simply diaper?Have a nice dayShark kiss

xD you attached a weird photo to this Ask. It distracts me a lot. So let’s get this Ask over with before I lose my mind.

Thank you for saying that I am doing a good job on my “work” in Tumblr. Keep in mind that I do this for fun ^^. I accept donations (in the form of diapers, or even money), but despite my gratefulness of these things, I would take my pictures and write my messages also without those. I can remind you (and others reading this) that I do have a website: coucherequin.com , which is like a copy of my tumblr blog and all my pictures, maybe you’ll find it more easy to navigate ^^

I only know Dutch and English. I would love to be able to learn French, but my skills in languages are very poor and thus I will probably never speak French properly. I’m sorry. I know that the name of my blog is in French, which suggests that I speak it, but I don’t oops 

The shark plush doesn’t have a real name. In Dutch, the word for shark is “haai”, which is pronounced like “hiiii”. Saying hello to a Dutch shark is kinda funny XD. On my blog, I call the plushie “sharkie” for lack of a better name. By now, it’s too late to give it a name. I sleep with it every night, so I also wash it in the washing machine every few weeks. When it is drying, after his swim in the washing machine, I have to sleep one night without it and it bothers me more than it should. Also, when I sleep at a different place than my own bed, it bothers me a lot that I cannot hold my fish in my sleep   :<   There are LITTLE problems

xD There are too many pastries for me to choose from, to choose a favourite. I like lots of different pastries. Flan Breton, Éclairs, Madeleines, Financier, Chouquettes, Mille-Feuille (which the Dutch also copied as tompouce / tompoes), but also more normal stuff like pain au chocolat, and regular flan. There are many more pastries that I would like to try, especially Breton pastries 

Hm I’m not sure what you’re asking, but I think you’re asking me why I am wearing diapers during my ageplay sessions, in which I’m around 3~ish years. I can’t be sure what it was exactly like, being a real toddler. I only have a few clear memories of those times. As a toddler I wore diapers during the day until around age 3 (I think), and during the night I still needed diapers until I was around 7 or 8 years old. After that, I distinctively remember wanting to wear diapers again to satisfy my inner desires. As a teen and adult there’s also the sexual aspect, and some of my most intense orgasms have been in a diaper. But I dunno, I just want to wear diapers? Maybe one day I will figure it out. We moved two times, when I was a young kid. For that, I switched primary schools once (second move was closer by). The friends I had as a kid were all gone, and I wouldn’t even know their names now. At my new primary school, I had to make new friends but I was also bullied a lot. I suppose that these things are somehow connected to me wanting to continue wearing diapers. I tend to ageplay once per week, or sometimes once per two weeks, and this is enough to control my desires. It’s not a big problem for me, and I will not seek psychiatric help for it ^^. My diaper wearing and ageplay are like self-medicating, I think?

I’ve worn lots of different diapers! I enjoy cute pink-printed diapers the most. But I will not complain if there are only medical diapers to wear ^^; it doesn’t give the same babyish feeling, but I suspect that little bedwetting coucherquin also didn’t wear baby diapers at age 7 XD. My parents probably put me in XS medical diapers.Unfortunately I have no clear memories of this. So yes I have my weird preferences ^^, but I won’t complain. Sorry for the long Ask post. I hope I can receive more Asks in the future!

My apologies for being a little absent, lately. It’s related to my recent post, where I exposed my uncertainties regarding my long-term plans, but also due to general inexcusable laziness from my end XD. I do have a new photoset to post to my blog, so I should probably prepare this and add it to my blog some time soon.. Sorry for all the trouble. 

If I can ask you, would you be interested in reading stories that I wrote? I have a lot of ideas for fictional stories, but I’m not sure whether enough people are interested.. I’ll try to write a short story (soon), and see what sort of responses I get from it ^^, that should be an o-kay plan!

Goodbye for a while…

Hm so this is a text post which is not so fun to write, for me. Around this time last year (in 2019), I got my late cat euthanized due to severe chronic illness. If you’ve been following me for long enough, you will probably have seen my cat in some of my older pictures. Nowadays I tend not to use those pictures any more, because it reminds me too much of her. Around that period, there were many stressful things happening, because my work contract also expired, and I was planning to move to another city (but still inside the Netherlands). Anyway, right after I moved, the corona thing just started and everything became very difficult; this was difficult for everyone. 

When I got a new job, I moved again to another city (this time taking very few possessions with me, because the situation was still quite difficult and I moved to another country). When I had established myself in my new home in Belgium, and I was a little bit more comfortable, I thought about adopting a cat again. In my recent pictures, you may have seen her. Purely by coincidence, she looks quite similar to my late cat, but that wasn’t the reason why I adopted her. Trust me, her personality is very different from my late cat’s ^^. I would never dare to compare these two cats, otherwise my late cat will come back from the grave to scratch me or sit on my face in my sleep. Anyway, the cat which I recently adopted is quite thin and frail. I thought that she was just a little thin from the situation at the shelter, but she wasn’t really gaining any weight while living with me, and I was worried. I took her to the vet and they diagnosed the cat with hyperthyroidism, prescribing medication to be taken daily. Despite my experience with animals and especially with cats, I had mixed results administering this pill to her. I discussed it with the vet and with the shelter, and they suggested it may be best to rehome the cat. I tried a while longer to administer this medication to my cat, but I was just not successful and it wasn’t really in the interest of my cat to keep living with me. That’d be selfish. So I brought her back to the shelter, and they immediately found a new owner who was very experienced in giving pills. She is living in a nursing home now (xD sorry I’m not joking, a nursing home for people, one of the nurses gives the medication to the cat once per day).

Although I’m happy that the story has a happy ending for the cat, the story doesn’t have a happy ending for me, I think? I’m back where I started: sitting alone in my apartment talking to people over the internet. I’m having a lot of difficulties understanding what I really want in my life. Pets can be really good friends or housemates, and I really like sharing my life with a cat. It gives me happiness and it takes away a lot of my loneliness. But the presence of a cat is rather transient. And they’re not really sentient in the same way people are. What should I even do? Lately I’ve been asking myself more what I’m even doing and where I should be going. The decisions I make around my current age may have a big effect on the long term, right? I’m turning 30 years old in a few weeks. Should I try dating a person to fill the loneliness in my life? I don’t think you’re supposed to partner up with someone to fight your loneliness…, or should you? I would have no idea where to start. However, part of me also tells me not to take any drastic decisions. So I think I’m going to lay low for a while. I’m sorry, I’ll stop posting to this blog for a few days. I won’t go away, don’t worry ^^. Your friendly apex predator shark isn’t going anywhere. If you want to, maybe you could tell me some advice? 

When was the last time you cried? If you’re okay with talking about it, what was the reason?

Thank you for this Ask! It’s a little bit personal.. I cried a lot after I had my previous cat euthanized, but this is already almost a year ago (29-11-2019) so it’s not something which is recent. 

Sometimes I wonder whether I’m making the right choices in life. I’m not being successful in a regular way, am I? I don’t have a partner, I don’t own a house, I don’t own a car, I don’t even have a driver’s license, I don’t have kids, I don’t often go on holiday. What do I even have? I rent an apartment, I ride my bike, and I am lonely. Usually I am too busy to worry about these things, and I feel that I accomplish enough other things to make up for my downfalls. Though, occasionally it hits me in the face that my life lacks things which the majority of other people find more important than creative and scientific accomplishments. I’ll lie down in my bed to cry for an hour, and then I drink a bottle of wine and get drunk and do other stupid things. What do you think about this? 

Here’s a question for you do you have a least favorite diaper that you’ve tried for me I research the diapers I buy so I’ve been able to say away from some of the bad ones

Thank you for sending me an Ask! 

My least favorite diaper is the Attends Slip Active m8 (and m9). These diapers have one tape on each side (so two tapes in total) and therefore fit me very poorly; i.e. the middle part of the diaper doesn’t stay snugly around my thighs and instead narrows up over time. I bought a pack (with 28 diapers) of these diapers in 2013 (I think?) and it took me until at least 2016 to finish it. I did have other diapers in the mean time, of course. At some point I started buying Abena M3 packages and I loved those diapers for their simpleness and effectiveness. Though, this was a time before I started exploring ageplaying, so I was mostly just masturbating in these diapers. I should just have thrown the Attends away instead of wearing them reluctantly, I am not incontinent after all so I don’t per se need uncomfortable diapers. What sense does it make to wear bad diapers when you’re doing it for fun? ^^;;

With that in mind, I should really start approaching my diaper choices more ‘scientifically’, so I could have lists of diapers that I can strongly recommend and other diapers which I would recommend more for low budget or something like that xD. But maybe the viewers of my blog just want to see my ass and thin frail body in diapers instead of reading silly analyses of diapers

This is a formal request to rename your blog “Doctor Coucherequin M.D.” (mostly diapered.)

xD Hm I know you’re joking with this, though out of completeness: I am not an M.D. (doctor of medicine). I have never studied medicine, I cannot help you in case of a medical emergency, I cannot perform surgeries on people, etc. In contrast, I do know human and murine anatomy, I know about the chemical processes that keep us alive, I know oddly specific medical terms, I’m licensed to work with mammalian model organisms in the Netherlands and in Belgium. I am licensed to work with radioactive substances (in NL). I can perform micro-surgery on mice. I can do all sorts of weird and wonderful laboratory techniques for the analysis and quantification of DNA, RNA, proteins, fats, etc. A PhD stands for a ‘doctor of Philosophy’, or more accurately a ‘research doctorate’. Concerning what my role would be in this world. I don’t think I know? I plan and perform medical studies in cultured cells and rodent models, I analyse the samples and write the manuscripts. What any of this has to do with any real-life skill, I’m not sure. Though, some people see it as a prestigious activity. What do you think?

Looking around your awesome pix, I guess you’ve spent lots at IKEA? I have 5 of the rats! And the the bed frame is excellent

Hm yes, in my previous home I think most of my stuff was either from Ikea or from the thrift-shop (which also receives mostly ikea stuff). When I was decorating my house, I kept an Excel sheet of my spendings and I was surprised how expensive it all ended up being, despite the fact that I never really planned on keeping any of the furniture pieces. I had these things: 

Friheten sleeping sofa (I got mine in pink, it was the last one?)
Fjellse 140cm wooden bed frame (they should still have this)
Hemnes table-desk (before they started only selling painted ones)

Jokkmokk wooden dining table with 4 wooden chairs
Rast wooden cabinet
Hemnes 3-drawer chest (before they started only selling painted ones)
Hemnes book case (also before the painted ones)

XD I even had a fridge from ikea. Did you know they sell fridges? I think it’s called “Lagan”. It’s so huge. We were with 3 people in the house and the fridge and freezer were never completely full.

I also had a few carpets from ikea, and lots of decorative little things like the rats (plushies) yes and of course the shark plush. Though, I don’t think they sell lots of these things any more? It’s a little sad that I could not keep most of those furniture pieces, when I moved back to the south of the Netherlands (and later to Belgium). I understand that life goes on, and I also understand that I should not sulk over such silly materialist things. Though, I think ultimately we all seek comfort in continuity of our relationships and our possessions. I wonder whether I’ll have a permanent living space any time soon

Have you ever thought about adopting children?

distracteddl:

coucherequin:

Thank you for this interesting Ask. There was a period in my life when I really wanted to have children. I was kinda devastated when I found out that I was infertile. That revelation was already a few years ago, and I think right now I’ve accepted that my purpose on this world isn’t that. I need to contribute in another meaningful way, and any way I can think of invariably is immeasurable in its success. One foolproof way would be to adopt children, and the thought passed my mind numerous times. However, in the country in which I live, singles (in practice) cannot adopt. With the low self-esteem that I have, I don’t see myself suitable for relationships. With those things in mind, I suspect that my contribution to this world will instead be creative and/or intellectual. If I’m not successful at that, then there will be no proof that I was ever here, right? To blog readers, I am a nobody. Even if my pictures momentarily give you fun, they leave no lasting impression, I think. Nonetheless, it gives me some peace of mind knowing that my creative products find a use

I don’t think you’re a nobody: you’re a kind, lovely person with a penchant for ageplay & a talent for photography!

That’s a very kind thing to say ^^. I’d like to be a kind and loving person. And I’d like to be good at photography. It’s up to me to make that a reality, huh? We’re all free in being who we want to be and who we are.. I’ll keep working towards improving myself, that’s the least I can do

How have you been doing through the pandemic? I hope you are doing well!

Sorry.. as far as blogging goes, I’m not that good at actually telling my own activities and stories, cus I fear that no one really cares about me as a person.

Maybe I can use this Ask to do that; describe a little bit what I’ve been doing. So people can skip if they don’t want to read this. 

My PhD contract ended last year and I was kinda unemployed for a while, but I used that time to apply for jobs (of course) but mostly to write my doctoral thesis and my scientific manuscripts (for publication). I probably shouldn’t publicly disclose the relative percentages of those activities xD. Anyway, I submitted my doctoral thesis near the beginning of this year and it was accepted by the reading committee and deemed good enough to be publicly defended. Meanwhile I was offered a postdoctoral research position to start very near to when I was supposed to defend. But yeah there was a pandemic and my plans kinda changed a lot. My PhD defence was postponed to the end of Summer, and I couldn’t yet start the postdoctoral position because the borders were closed. In practice this meant more unemployment which did strain my finances, but I got a lot of help from my parents and I ended up only losing a little bit of money. I used this additional free time to continue to work on my manuscripts and actually ended up finishing nearly all of them xD. At the time I’m writing this I have 3 first-author papers accepted for publication and another 2 manuscripts with minor revisions which I have submitted back to the respective journals. Gotta make the best of the time you’re offered, right?  

My views of this whole pandemic is a little bit weird. If a pandemic makes people realize what is really important to them (family, close friends, local communities, their elders), then maybe the prior way of life was wrong per se? These things should have been clear to anyone from the get-go. All the senseless travelling and holidays isn’t important in the larger scheme. I was also confronted with this, and I promised myself that I’d visit my family and friends more often than before.

Adopting a cat sounds great what try would you want to get

There’s no doubt that adopting a cat sounds like a good idea ^^. I’d be giving a cat another chance at life, an owner, and a home. The doubt comes not from this by itself, but by the limited space that I could offer the cat. My current home is a little bit smaller compared to my previous home (maybe 25m², compared to 80m²). Also, there’s less opportunity for a cat to go outdoors, here. I know that cats don’t really care that much and prefer to be lazy most of the time, but even the laziest cat will give itself a daily bout of exercise by running around the house, playing with toys, hunting prey, or scratching stuff. I’m afraid that this home is too small to run around in, and therefore I don’t  think it’d be a good idea. I do really want to have a cat again, because I feel very lonely, but it’s probably best that I set my feelings aside for the interest of the animal. 

In your “July blog post” you said that you sold artwork and music at Japan expo in Paris. What kind of music do you make? What music do you like? What instruments do you play?

Hm I can’t answer this one in much detail, cus people can Google it very easily. We play piano-vocal music. I play keyboard and do the arrangements and some of the storywriting. Sorry, I can’t say much more cus it’s kinda super obvious otherwise xD

Have you ever visited Finland?

I haven’t visited Finland before ^^;; Sorry. I did go to Stockholm once to visit the university there, though I did not get to see the city. Maybe another time, I’ll be able to return to Scandinavia for a holiday. 

Your profile says you’re from Finland. Do you still live there? Do you get to see the Northern lights ?

Hi can u speak german

I can speak a little bit German, though I prefer to talk in English or Dutch if it’s possible ^^. I’m not that good with languages, though.. I don’t read enough (literature) books. One of my friends, who is a translator/interpreter for a living, gets very angry at me when I use google translate to help me with languages (sometimes I also use it with English, but generally I’m okay without)

Do you know that there are other pages to upload your photos?

I’m confused about what you sent me. Are there other people who upload my pictures to their blog? Or are you asking me to use a different service (like twitter) to upload my pictures?

If it’s the former.. well if I didn’t agree with it, then it’s not okay for other people to upload my pictures anywhere ^^;;  my pictures are mine and I want to keep full control over where they are. Reblogging is of course fine, cus that’s the whole idea behind tumblr and not technically re-uploading. I understand that on the internet people can download and upload something without direct repercussions, but I’d like to appeal to people’s empathy regarding this. I am a real person, after all. If you meant to ask the latter.. for the time being I think tumblr works fine, it’s too time-consuming for me to maintain several platforms at the same time

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You mentioned in some of your answers that you have a low self esteem when it comes to relations, can you please elaborate on why you think so and if it is related to loving diapers, also do you ever think to go to a psychologist to help you feel better or this doesn’t bother you at all? Thanks.

it’s true, I have some issues with self-esteem. I don’t think it’s related to me liking diapers and ageplay. Maybe it’s just my way of looking at life? Though despite that, I’m generally a happy person. I’ve been single for a long time, but I don’t really care that much about it, I think. I would really like to talk to interesting people more than I do now, though. I seem to attract mostly the “how are u” and not so much real conversations, but perhaps it’s my mistake to expect more than chit-chat.    

I’m against medicalization of human behavior, though. I would not go to a psychologist for having low self esteem. To me, that sounds absurd. I learned the hard way that it’s best not to be critical of psychologists. I’m still kinda skeptical, you know? I’ve always solved my own issues. The concept that someone could help me with a deep personal issue, in a very limited time, sounds totally bizarre to me. I personally consider the placebo effect to be a major contributor in the efficacy of psychologists. But again, I’m careful with this.. if a psychologist helps you, by all means don’t listen to me ^^

Thank you for this Ask!  I do really enjoy getting Asks and I will answer (almost) all of them in due time ^^

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Have you ever thought about adopting children?

Thank you for this interesting Ask. There was a period in my life when I really wanted to have children. I was kinda devastated when I found out that I was infertile. That revelation was already a few years ago, and I think right now I’ve accepted that my purpose on this world isn’t that. I need to contribute in another meaningful way, and any way I can think of invariably is immeasurable in its success. One foolproof way would be to adopt children, and the thought passed my mind numerous times. However, in the country in which I live, singles (in practice) cannot adopt. With the low self-esteem that I have, I don’t see myself suitable for relationships. With those things in mind, I suspect that my contribution to this world will instead be creative and/or intellectual. If I’m not successful at that, then there will be no proof that I was ever here, right? To blog readers, I am a nobody. Even if my pictures momentarily give you fun, they leave no lasting impression, I think. Nonetheless, it gives me some peace of mind knowing that my creative products find a use

“Well I have a lot of presence on other websites, but not as coucherequin. I like to keep my online ‘identities’ separate as much as possible, so I can’t tell you publicly about the account names that I use on YouTube or Discord. If I get to know people, I usually give them my discord handle cus it’s easier to chat on compared to tumblr messaging. Which websites do you have other identities identities on? You don’t need to tell me you identity but it would interesting to know all of these sites

Which websites do I use? Well lots of different ones! I use YouTube, facebook, discord, deviantart, twitter, soundcloud, danbooru, gelbooru, bandcamp, crunchyroll, MAL, and a few forums. Most of my time online goes to YouTube and tumblr, though. 

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Hey requin, hoewel oude franchise als zelda veelal gedragen zullen worden door oudere spelers, zijn ze makkelijk op te pakken voor hedendaagse kinderen. De fortnite-achtige spelletjes van nu zijn online en wanneer de updates stoppen snel vergeten worden. Veel plezier met animal crossing en ik hoop dat je na de wuhan-hoest snel weer een eigen woning vind met een verse start voor de toekomst! Heb je nu een sabbatical van abdl?

Ah oeps. Ik had een antwoord geschreven op deze Ask, maar ik was naar bed gegaan en m’n laptop had zichzelf opnieuw opgestart waardoor m’n antwoord verdwenen was XD. Sorry hiervoor..

XD Wat zeg jij nou? Ik heb toch geen sabbatical van ABDL? Ik plaats elke dag een berichtje; soms een reblog van mezelf, soms een reblog van iets schattigs, soms een antwoord op een Ask, en soms gewoon een stukje tekst van mezelf. Maar ik plaats elke dag wel iets, al jaren lang! Het klopt wel dat ik de laatste maanden een beetje achter loop met nieuwe foto’s nemen, waardoor ik meer oude foto’s gebruikt heb. Je mag me wel suggesties geven voor nieuwe ideeën voor foto’s, hoor. Of me een luier aanraden die ik nog niet gedragen heb en die de moeite waard is!

Animal Crossing is heel erg leuk ^^. Vergeet niet dat spelletjes gewoon tijdsverdrijf zijn, echter. Ik voel me een beetje slecht als ik aan ‘t eind van de dag of ‘t eind van de week niets nieuws heb gemaakt. Hoe kan ik anders bewijzen dat ik ooit bestaan heb, als ik niks gemaakt heb?