Thank you for this serious Ask. I want to write a more elaborate answer this time, because I have a few minutes to spare.
I’m 30 years old right now, and I’ve been using the internet since I was around 12. I mention this because as a teenager I found the internet fascinating. In those years, forums were much more commonly used compared to right now (as opposed to new websites like Yahoo Answers, Quora, or even Discord). I looked up so many topics and keywords, sometimes just to see what was written on it. Occasionally I combined keywords like “diapers”, “masturbation”, “fingering”, “fapping”, “bedwetting”, and “incontinence”, (or the Dutch equivalent of those terms) just to see what was written about it on various forums. I thought it was questionable and kinda appalling to see that there was clear sexual roleplay (or roleplay soliciting) going on at forums involving incontinence, secondary school education, and magazines for teenagers. The roleplay soliciting usually involved some form of description involving “I was forced to wear diapers by my mom for bedwetting, but I ended up really liking it, is this normal, what should I do??” There is a slim chance that some of these messages were genuine. Though, especially now that I’m a little bit older, I suspect that these messages were most likely written by horny adults. Don’t get me wrong; there’s nothing wrong with being a horny adult among other horny adults XD. Stories can be a big turn-on, and there are dedicated platforms for exchanging erotic (ABDL) stories and for roleplaying. However, typing out horny (ABDL) messages on support forums for teenagers, bedwetting, or for incontinence is unacceptable, in my opinion. The former is problematic due to the presence of minors. The latter two is (in my opinion) problematic because it confronts people who have a medical issue with the fact that others enjoy diapers for non-medical reasons. Although that latter part is not bad per se, I suspect that it’s in the best interest of everyone that ABDL only minimally interacts with the bedwetting/incontinence people, to avoid any conflict. The reason that I have this opinion is that I would most likely not want to interact with anyone who has an amputee fetish, if my leg is amputated for medical reasons.
Going back to the original point on incontinence; I want to be supportive when needed and otherwise not mention it. I suspect that adults who become incontinent probably at some point find out that ABDL is a real thing. It’s then their choice to read into it, or ignore it. I would not want to be incontinent, I would not wish incontinence onto anyone else. ABDL and incontinence can co-exist without ever interacting. Nowadays, the existence of ABDL-themed diapers underlines my opinion about this. How I understood it, incontinent folks prefer fabric-backed diapers. Plastic-backed diapers are mostly a fetish thing. So, the existence of ABDL-themed (plastic backed) diapers (to me) means that ABDL and incontinence has diverged their separate ways and are not reliant on one another. If a cure-all for incontinence was discovered tomorrow, and incontinence-oriented diapers would disappear, then ABDL would not necessarily be affected by this. If ABDL were to disappear, then incontinence-oriented diapers would also not be affected. Likewise, the design decisions in either only minimally affect one another. When it comes to AB stuff like onesies, adult pacis, I suspect that there’s even less interaction with the non-ABDL side as these products are uniquely made for ABDL.
All in all, it’s my opinion that I shouldn’t purposely interact with non-ABDL incontinence folks, because I don’t wish to bother others. My ABDL blog should not interact with minors at all (and I don’t, AFAIK). If my presence on tumblr would bother others, then I should change the way that I write my posts. Right now, I think I’m doing okay in that my followers specifically follow me because they want to see my ABDL-themed pictures. Before I contact someone (on tumblr), I do check if they have 18+ in their description. That’s the least I can do